Of Shippers, Dandruff, and BugShaped Pottery
by cs-eye
Summary: Reposted to fix some errors. (Thanks for letting me know.) Grissom, with an audience of shippers’ help, asks Sara to marry him. Weird? Oh, yeah.
1. Chapter I: The Big Plan

Rating: PG, but could might as well be a G.

Spoilers: Little references from S1 to S3.

Summary: Grissom, with an audience of shippers' help, asks Sara to marry him. 

            I know it's weird, but just read to find out what this means. G/S RST. Humor.  

A/U: Very strange - but fun - alternate universe.

Author's Note: If you're looking for a serious fic, you'd be really disappointed. This is just a little fic I dreamed up some time ago, and then decided to put it on paper (er, sort of.) Chapter 1 has a bit of plot, while Chapter 2 is all fluff. A bit OOC – but I had to do it to make the story work.

Author's Note Part 2: Reposted to fix some errors. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Made me happy all week. ;)

Thanks to Amanda for beta-ing. The world is lucky to have a person like you living on it.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except the bug-shaped pottery.

Of Shippers, Dandruff and Bug-Shaped Pottery 

By CS-eye

Chapter I: The Plan 

Gil Grissom is thinking about getting _her_ a Valentine's Day present. It's been three years since they've been together, and he wants to make this day, this year, extra special.

_She deserves it_, he thinks.

*Who is she? Who is the lucky woman?* A voice asks, seeming to come from all around the room.

Grissom looks around, startled.

_"The most beautiful person in the world– Sara Sidle,"_ Grissom replies, apparently annoyed we'd think of anyone else.

"Now what in the world could I give her? I know she'll appreciate whatever I come up with… But something simple won't be enough this year".

_*Something little, huh? Why don't you give her a ring, and ask her to marry you?* the shippers half-jokingly (and half-hopingly) murmur._

_"Don't interrupt my thoughts! Oh, well… since you already did, that was exactly what I was planning to do, hence the term 'special'. But how did you ever guess? I wanted it to be a surprise, even to you, but since you are all so talented and smart (and seem to know everything I'm thinking) then I guess you should just help me..."_

During this, Sara appears in the doorway.

"Hey Grissom, who are you talking to?" Sara asks, leaning against the doorframe. 

"Oh, no one, honey.  I, uh, nothing. It's just a quote from something I read on the internet."

Sara raises and eyebrow. "Do you actually expect me to believe that?"

"Of course," Grissom confidently replies.

Sara walks closer to Grissom.

"You know me too well, Bugboy," she whispers, slipping her arms around Grissom's neck.

"Of course," Grissom says again, leaning close to Sara and kissing her.

_*Aww.* some shippers sigh._

_*Lucky gal!* CS-eye murmurs._

"Ahem."

Grissom and Sara pull back abruptly from each other. They turn to the doorway and find Nick Stokes standing there, with his arms folded.

"Sorry to disturb you, but there's something I need to tell you," the handsome Texan smilingly says.

"What is it?" Sara asks, as the shippers all around the cyberworld groan.

"Who's that!?" Nick looks around the room suspiciously.

"Er… That's nothing. Just uh, probably something from the garage,"  Grissom stammers.

_"Pipe down!" _He whispers to no one Nick and Sara can see. 

_*Fine, fine.*._

"Who are you talking to right now?" Nick, now totally weirded out, pushes on.

"Nick, let's get back on subject, please." Sara interjects, giving him and Grissom a weary look.

_"Thank God for Sara!"_ a relieved and grateful Grissom sighs. He smiles inwardly, thinking how once again he is reminded how fortunate he is to have her.

"We found out who killed Jason McDonald. Greg matched Collin Brown's DNA to the DNA from the hair found on the SUV's front seat," Nick discloses, finally letting Grissom off the hook.

"Great. Call Brass, get a warrant. " Grissom says.

"Already did," Nick replies, showing off a dimpled cheek. "Hey, Sara, did you know we found dandruff on the headrest too?"

"How is that connected to the case?" Sara asks.

"I just remembered how much you hate dandruff," Nick responds, clearly amused.

"Okay, enough. I really need to go now, "Sara smiles, and playfully shoves Nick's shoulder. She gives Grissom a peck on the cheek, before finally walking out of the room.

Grissom looks at Nick pointedly.

"Hey, she was the one who touched me! I didn't touch her!" Nick teasingly remarks.

"I meant about the dandruff," Grissom replies. "Anyway, good job on the case."

"Thanks." Nick says. He gives a brief nod to his boss, and leaves.

---

Grissom, all alone again, goes back to his thinking. He sits on a nearby stool, puts his hands on the table, and rests his head in them.

_"Guys, you know what else Sara hates?" _He asks.

*_Saliva, especially spit makes her gag, doesn't it? Oh, and meat, obviously. But we never knew she didn't like dandruff that much.* _We_ earnestly reply, eager to get Grissom talking to us again._

_"Yes, she is quite 'grossed out' (or at least that's what she calls it) by those little specks of white on the human scalp. Anyway, another thing she isn't particularly fond of is the ceramic bug I gave her for Valentine's last year."_

_*A ceramic bug!? What kind of gift is that!?* We ask incredulously._

_"Hey, it was cute… Well, at least for me. It was a heart-shaped ladybug with our names painted on it. It was as big as my fist. I told her it was as big as my heart."_

_*Aww… again. But still not so much a wholehearted "aww".*_

_*Why do you say "was"?*_

_"Wow, you notice everything." Grissom replies, quite amazed. "Well, it's broken now. I accidentally knocked it off a shelf when I was over at her apartment last month. She didn't seem too sad when I broke it, though…"_

_*_snicker_.*_

_"Hey! I'm touchy about that, you know!" Grissom remarks._

_*Okay, sorry.*_

_*Wait.*_

_*We have an idea…*_

_---_

Grissom and the shippers confer for about 30 minutes. 

---

_"Thanks! Thank you so much!  I don't know how to thank you!" Grissom exclaims._

_*Don't worry. We'll think of a way.*_

~you can read the next chapter now!~


	2. Chapter II: The Big Day

**Chapter II: The Bug, er, Big Day**

"Hey Sara." 

Sara stops abruptly at the sound of a voice. She turns to find herself face to face with Grissom, who has somehow come up behind her without her hearing.

_"God, she really is beautiful," _Grissom thinks, looking into her eyes.

*_Yeah, yeah, we know that already* _CS-eye and some shippers mutter under their breath.

Here we are again, of course. The shippers wouldn't miss this for the world.

*_Hmph, you're just jealous…* _One girl whispers to CS-eye.

*_Shush! We have to get back to the plot.* _CS-eye retorts.

"Could you come with me for a moment, please?" Grissom asks Sara, gingerly taking her left hand in his right.

"Why, are you going to tape me up?" Sara remarks with a smile.

*_Sigh.*_

Grissom leads Sara to his Tahoe, his eyes never leaving her face. They both get in. Sara wonders what he's up to. 

*_Oooh! We want to tell you, Sara! sigh But of course we can't…*_

Just as Sara is about to wonder where all the faint mumbling voices are coming from, she catches a glimpse of a box, roughly the size of a human fist, peeking from under Grissom's jacket. Grissom gently takes it out, and places it on the back seat.

"Don't look yet," Grissom implores.

Sara eyes him suspiciously, but makes no effort to ask what is going on.

Grissom starts the engine, and they set off 

After driving for almost half an hour, they arrive at a marina.

There, tied to the dock, is a ship. Yes, a ship.

_"S.S. Geeklove? Who'd name their boat that?" _Sara wonders. _"But it sure looks magnificent."_

_"Damn. I'm nervous," _Grissom thinks.

*_Don't be.*_ We remind him.

"Sara, this ship was lent to me by some friends.  It is ours for the night – Valentine's Night," Grissom says, a bit nervously.

"Oh, Grissom! I – I don't know what to say," Sara exclaims. 

Grissom and Sara walk farther down the dock. Suddenly, Grissom stops and turns to Sara.

"Sara, I forgot my gift in the car. I'll go get it. Be right back," Grissom hurriedly tells Sara.

Sara gives him a nod and a smile.

_"What a smile. I'm such a geek, forgetting the gift." _ Grissom hastily runs, and opens the car door. He picks the present up carefully, and then checks if it's still one piece by rattling the box a bit.

_"Good. Still okay," _Grissom thinks.

*_Don't screw this up!* _We butt in on his thoughts again.

_"I won't," _he answers positively.

Returning to Sara, he takes her by the hand and leads her to the ship.

"What a wonderful view… And the breeze is just right – not too warm, not too cold," Sara comments, as they step onto the deck.

Grissom pulls out the box, his hands beginning to perspire a bit. He hands it over to Sara, whispering "Happy Valentine's Day –er, Night, honey."

Sara beams at him, remembering the first time he called her that.

She carefully takes it, and thanks him with a kiss.

"Open it," Grissom says.

Sara complies, unwrapping the small package.

A ceramic ladybug, an exact replica of last year's gift emerges from the box.

Sara bites her lip, trying to hide her disappointment.

_"I love Grissom, and whatever comes from him I shall love too," _Sara thinks.

Grissom gives a soft chuckle, interrupting Sara's thoughts.

"You hate it," he observes.

"Of course not."

"Of course you do. You should know by now that I know you too much."

Sara doesn't know what to say. She just continues to bite her lip.

All of a sudden they both begin to laugh.

"You know me too much," Sara admits.

"Break it," Grissom suddenly says.

"What?" Sara looks at him, stunned.

"Break it."

"No way! Why should I? This is your gift!"

"You said it's 'my' gift, right? So I'm asking you to break it."

"No."

"Sara…"

"You're crazy."

"Trust me."

*_Trust him! Just break it already.* _A chorus of animated voices fills the air.

"Whaaa – What!? Who's that? Who's there?" Sara looks around abruptly, her mind now bursting with questions.

"I'll explain it to you later. Now, come on, break it," Grissom again tells Sara.

Sara finally relents, breaking the piece of pottery against the deck railing.

Crash.

The pieces of the ceramic bug scatter all over the deck.

Clink.

Clink? 

Right beside a broken red piece of ceramic, a circular band glistened in the moonlight.

A ring.

Grissom picks it up, his hand shaking slightly.

Sara is stunned beyond words.

Grissom slowly takes her hand, and says:

"Sara, will you marry me?"

"Oh my god. I don't know what to say… Are you – are you sure?" Sara manages to stammer.

"I've never been more sure, Sara." Grissom replies.

"I really don't know what to say…" Sara is still at a lost for words

"Say yes."

Grissom slips the ring into Sara's finger.

"I'll ask you again. Will you –"

Sara cuts him short. "I will."

Grissom feels as though he was floating on air.

Again Sara speaks, "Yes, I will. I'm sure."

Grissom sweeps Sara off her feet – literally, and kisses her, wanting to feel her, wanting to be sure if this is all for real.

They dance in the moonlight as the whole shipper world bursts into cheers.


	3. Epilogue

**Epilogue: Inside the Ship**

"I love you, Sara Sidle."

"I love you, Gil Grissom."

"Tell me again why you love me."

"Because you know me too much."

"That's it??"

"Because you're you."

"Thank you for making me happy, Sara."

"Of course, Grissom. I love you."

…

"Oh, honey? There's another reason why I love you."

"What's that?"

"You don't have dandruff."

~Fin.~


End file.
